AUGUSTINIAN VICARIATE OF THE ORIENT
PROVINCE OF THE MOST HOLY NAME OF JESUS IN THE PHILIPPINES
myHORIZON
Postulant Dannie Bautista
AUGUST 19, 2015
REFLECTION ON THE CHAPTER VI OF THE RULE OF ST. AUGUSTINE
Our world is small when we have enemies. “I cannot go there because he is there”. “I will not attend because he will be there”. We limit our space to avoid our enemies making us to be a murderer of our relation to the community. This is the reality of having an enemy, it moves like a chain reaction. When we hate a person, we also hate their friends. Our hatred spreads making a plank out of splinter and a candle light to a wild fire. Well, in order to avoid such circumstances I reflected on the rule and it made me realize 3 things.
First, I must ask for pardon in order to rebuild the shattered relationship. What we tear, we must also mend. What is broken should not be left broken, it must be rebuilt in order to see what it really is. Friendships are not meant to be broken but once broken, I must do my best to rebuild it again in order to see what it really is. It is in brokenness that I can find true meaning because the whole meaning is not just in being whole, it is also in being shattered.
Second, I must forgive because I am also forgiven. I am a sinful person living in God’s grace every day. Without it I may not be able to sustain what I am. God forgives me so that I can forgive. Why should I not forgive? Who am I to do this? I should not let pride prevail over me. Even though I am the one that was hurt, I should remind myself that sometimes I am the one who is afflicting the pain.
Third thing that I realized is that, I should be humble enough to ask pardon whenever I correct someone because I do know that I am not worthy to correct him yet I know that it is wrong. I should correct him because in correcting him, I allow myself to be a channel of God’s grace. I may not be perfect but I know what is right from wrong through the help of our God.
In doing these things, asking pardon and forgiving offenses, I put the common good before mine. I put a healthy disposition between me and the community. Because of asking pardon, I am able to connect myself to the other same as with forgiving those who offended me. The rule challenges me to do this every day, to ask pardon in order to find true meaning, forgive in order to be forgiven and to be a channel of God’s grace to my brothers.
JULY 07, 2015
BREAKING THE PROSAICNESS THROUGH GRACE
Muteness is somehow a deprivation of expression which is proper to us. Without expression, we can hardly relate with one another. There could be an upheaval of thought and a misunderstanding of concepts due to its caused inadequacy. When a person is mute, he can only conceal his thoughts in himself and thus bringing it about that his interpersonal relationship is compromised and to a certain extent, neglected.
I think, this is one of the serious struggles of a young Christian like me, to be mute even though I am not. Sometimes I feel that I should keep my thoughts within me without realizing that my silence could venture the goodness that is right in front of me. Spiritual muteness, as I can describe, could lead a person to the perils of pride because all his thoughts is likely to be centered within himself making him neglect the opinion of others. Oftentimes, I fell like that I am the center of the universe and all things revolve around me because primarily I do know that I know something that others do not; but the truth is, I am just troubled and disarrayed.
I want to escape this chaotic dimension which clutters my mind in my search for the Good. I don't want to be a sheep without a shepherd. What can I possibly do to overcome this muteness? St. Augustine in his Confessions said that, "Blessed is the man who wish to pattern his life on God's answers rather than teh answers of God to his wishes." Maybe that's it. This is the best action that I can possibly do to escape such muteness and chaos - Charity.
Through Charity, I will be able to express myself to others despite of my muteness. The bonds of self-centeredness can be destroyed from my hands and the shackles of pride can be removed upon my feet. I am therefore liberated, through this act of self-giving, from my own inadequacy which hinders me to see and to speak what is true and good. Hence, I consider Charity as the key to this seemingly unescapable muteness.
Sometimes I cannot be charitable because charity is only proper to my Creator. I cannot give anything because I even owe my whole being to Him. So will I be forever bonded with this muteness? This is Impossible! I do know and I am certain that God will never forsake those who wish to offer themselves even though they own nothing. There is always grace which, I do believe, was not given according to my merits but from my inadequacies and unworthiness. Through grace, I can be charitable and through charity, I will be able to speak.
This is the challenge for me every day, to look for the grace of God in the prosaicness of life, to make irrelevant things a vessel for his Grace, and finally, to help others see and possess the grace he readily gives...
O Lord, My God, I do know that your grace is always upon us. Amen.